🍿 Watched a movie yesterday about polyamory with actress and producer Chiara Francini: “Coppia aperta, quasi spalancata” (“Open couple, almost wide open”). I feel really conflicted about it. First of all, there was an unethical promotional move she made: she was with us in the theatre to introduce the movie. She asked us, the audience, to clap and cheer and she posted that video on her instagram, making it look like we were cheering for the movie, while at that point we hadn’t watched it yet.

In the film itself, there were a few acted bits and a few documentarial bits. In the latter, the protagonist, Chiara, as herself, goes to a meeting of a polyamorous community, to a meeting of a feminist community in Rome and to a party of feminist young folks. She’s an absolute nightmare in those. Keeps talking over people, keeps expressing very reactionary views, keeps defending the idea of a “tradition” that she does not define, but that hurts us everyday. Denies the pain that others were expressing, belittles their views and their experiences.

I really, really hope that, if this was a “character”, if these views were exaggerated and intentionally abrasive, i really hope the communities of people she joined were previously advised of what was going to happen. I experienced so much second-hand pain watching the movie.

With that being said; as this is something about polyamory that is now out in popular culture, I think we probably should also evaluate it from a political standpoint. I.e. does this work advance the conversation, does it open doors and minds to those that are far separated from our communities, does it give visibility and representation to our underrepresented world? My answer is - probably not. I have thought about it and I’m not sure.

The movie, in the sequences I previously mentioned, does paint the conversation between the different worlds of traditional relationships and non-traditional as a conversation that can only be a clash, an inevitable conflict between two worlds that can’t live in harmony. And that’s pretty horrible, because it’s not true.

On the other hand, the movie does give visibility to beautiful representations of consensual non exclusivity, to warm communities, it does sometimes give a voice to our friends, to struggles we face, to issues, to the joy, to happiness. It does not judge everywhere; sometimes it does, through the character of the protagonist and of others. And by the end of it, I do not feel the movie was a bashing of polyamory. But that could also be because I really, with all my heart, wanted it not to be.

I’d like to hear what monogamous people thought about it. Might post an update when I do.

For me, the movie is a hit and miss. Some choices in the documentarial part were horrible. But there were a few bits without judgment. Were they enough?